Tall People Problems: From the Personal Vault


  • Shoppers – I would not like to get you a size small from behind the hanging rack of clothes placed 19 miles up the wall even if it is right thurr. Please call someone who works here…they’ll have one of those poles with a hook at the end to assist. I am not that person.
  • I cannot dunk or Ali-oop.
  • No. I’m not German.
  • Yes, one of my parents is tall – that is how we arrived at this.
  • My knees will never go underwater when taking a bath.
  • Never fitting  in pictures with other people without doing the squat-lunge-hunch down and forward.

^——–Tall Person not Fitting

  • Sure, I’ll dust the top of the fridge but ONLY because I like dusting.
  • Clothes in general…..do not fit.
  • When getting a pedicure the massage chair must be reclined ALL THE WAY back – slowest.process.ever.
  • ‘Big Tree Fall Hard’ does apply.
  • Ankles are always cold in pajama pants.
  • People just randomly getting  pissed at you at concerts because you block everything. “No, I’m not standing on a box – I cannot get down from it and yes, I’m obstructing the shit out of your view. Tall people like music too. Dickmidge.”

           (….guess that’s a sore subject…just got really angry there for a sec.. )

  • Sleeping on couches…..blows.
  • Constantly feeling like Yao Ming.

(Yao Ming)

I will end with this statement and chart…or more just this chart….




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