My Reaction When People Say…

“I’m going to be a couple minutes late……”

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(What the hell do I do now? I’m a half an hour early….)

“Would you and your party like to sit in a booth?”

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(WHAT. Obviously….)

“My wife and I are going apple picking.”

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                                ………………..

“We visited a farm this weekend and there were goats.”

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(Hi, excuse me…Did you just say goats? Shit. I love goats.)

    “I dunno, I just don’t really like sushi…”

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(Do you even know what the fuck you’re talking about?)

“What are your thoughts on Obamacare?”

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“Want to go to Kings Dominion this season?”

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(UM. YEAH I do.)

“Your hair looks great today.”

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(Oh, this? Thanks.)

“I baked oatmeal cookies and put them in the lunch room…”

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(Why the hell not chocolate chip?)

“Excuse me, how tall are you?”

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(And No, I don’t play basketball. Not ever. Not even then, nope.)

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