Now That I’m an Adult I…….

  • like my vegetables al dente
  • pretend I know a lot about wine (specifically red, Merlot and Cab. Sav., with like a deep bodied flavor…..see?)
  • vacuuming is my third favorite activity (just behind favorite activities 1 &2, I don’t know what they are but I do know vacuuming should not be my favorite activity.)
  • floss (I can confidently tell the dentist that I have been flossing, even though I know he’ll give me shit about it anyways)
  • am only moderately afraid of the dark
  • separate lights and darks
  • shouldn’t want to date a guy just because he skateboards
  • when I wear a suit I am not playing dress-up, this is for real
  • can appreciate a good beard
  • like mixed nuts; unsalted
  • actually like reading for pleasure and wish I had a summer reading list that was mandatory along with book reports
  • feel the need to purchase dryer sheets
  • think q-tips are one of the best inventions ever along with vegetable steamers
  • know that quinoa is expensive
  • know how to properly remove stains (carpet stain? yup, have something for that.)
  • don’t remember the last time I had a serious boo-boo
  • take baths with bath salts instead of bubbles (that’s a lie, salts are shit, bubbles are $money$)
  • the monster in the closet is old and decrepit; nothing to worry about
  • would spend all my money on kitchen appliances or miscellaneous toiletries
  • have come to terms with the fact that I am probably not going to be a famous front singer of a dope rock band
  • still don’t know what actually goes on when you get something dry cleaned


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